Greetings From Sick Land, Where It’s Habitually Unfun

I know it seems as if I’ve up and abandoned this blog as if it were a town overrun by monkeys trying to pull my pants down (You’ll have to excuse me, I’ve just spent the last two years watching Travel Channel bloopers. My favorites at the end of this post.), but, in truth, I’m still sick. Yeah guys, no kidding. I’m on my third 10-day round of antibiotics for a sinuses that are apparently no longer infected, but still largely inflamed to the bewilderment of my now bungling doctors. I confuse everyone up in here. So until I’m better, this is going to be kind of a half assed post. I’m sorry, but I just can’t full ass it yet.

So, Ladies, let’s just pretend that it’s not my funky medication talking and that this isn’t at all random, and let’s talk makeup. I have a tutorial waiting in the wings for someone to upload and yell, “BE A STAR!” That someone is me.

I know with being sick and all that I haven’t really gotten to talk about Christmas and makeup and such too much, so let’s talk a little about that now, minus the makeup tutorial. If you watched my original tutorial, you’d know that I was in desperate need of makeup, so for Christmas Aunt Bev took me makeup shopping. I was in need of EVERYTHING and found a kit at Wal-Mart for $15. It had six different eye shadow kits, each with six different colored eye shadows, a sparkly eye highlighter, a blush, and a lip gloss in it. Also inside was a professional pocket makeup mirror, four lipsticks, four nail polishes, four eyeliners and two foundations. The kit was distributed by Markwins International. I was skeptical about getting the kit with the price and the fact that I had never used that brand of makeup before, but since I needed a little of everything, it was the perfect kit for me, and for the price I decided to give it a try.

You guys, this stuff is awesome, and I’m not a paid reviewer. I don’t even play one on TV. I was really surprised with the quality of it, especially the eyeshadow. It looks expensive and professional. It has that hint of iridescence which makes it gorgeous and also makes it look like a wet eyeshadow, though it’s a dry one. It’s blends so very easily. It doesn’t take going back over it five times to get it to do so, and it doesn’t take but one good swipe on your makeup brush to get each color to cover. To show you how demure and flawless this is, I did my makeup today in bright blues, one of the hardest colors to put on, because it’s so bright and so easy to mess up. That being said, let’s pay more attention to the left eye than the right (Based on looking directly at the picture.), because the right eye was the poor victim of one good sneeze, so it’s a little smeared in the corner. Gesundheit. And yes, those are my actual eyelashes. They’re just super long. I can’t put on false eyelashes to save my life, mostly because I’ve never tried, so please don’t ask me how to do it.

Look how luminous!

Here’s the overall view. I know it’s super bright, and I normally don’t do bright blue eyeshadow, but for the sake of the blog, it’s totally worth it. Also, I don’t have any lipstick on in this picture to show off their awesome lipstick. Sorry, all. I didn’t have your backs there.

Last but not least, let’s talk hilarious Travel Channel bloopers, yeah? This is what happens when I’m sick. I watch television, because I don’t know what else to do with myself. But really, who needs to watch two hours of Travel channel bloopers? Me, that’s who. It’s okay, though, folks. In the past month I’ve managed to watch four seasons of Flashpoint and start into Veronica Mars. (Does anyone else just think she has the coolest dad ever or is that just me?) Anywho, beyond the point, so I digress.

This first video is not suitable for work or children, really. It is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Two monkeys pull some guy’s pants down. No, seriously. I have absolutely no way of making this up.

Here’s the Travel Channel website’s videos. If you flip through, you will find a ton of bloopers. Knock yourselves out. Not literally. If you do that, you will probably end up with a concussion at best and in the hospital at worse. Don’t do that.

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