A Guilty Half a Fruit Loop

Oh, y’all. *Shakes head*

I promised myself a long time ago that I would never, ever again post anything on Craigslist unless I was ready to commit suicide for being so stupid that I couldn’t live with myself anymore, or become the kind of person that finds people and slaps them with sticks shaped like baseball bats but doesn’t seriously maim them. I’m more of the get-the-point-across without serious injuries kind of girl. Since I’m not ready to die and I really don’t wish to hurt anyone, then the only conclusion I can come to for my actions is that I’ve just gotten dumb all on my own.

In my very (minimal) defense, there’s a few things I need to sell. My bedroom furniture is one, a pair of mint condition show chaps is another, and a set of horse clippers that were barely ever used is the third. Not wanting to pay to put an ad in the paper and having zero luck on other sites before, I went back to Craigslist. I hate myself for it already.

Look, I’m not saying everyone on Craigslist has a half of a brain cell or a temper. I have legitimately met some very wonderful people on there who have bought stuff off of me after reading the ad correctly and showing up when they said they would. That’s normally not the case, though. I think you have to be half a Fruit Loop to even post on there sometimes, so I guess we all know what I am. Guilty. A guilty half a Fruit Loop, to be exact.

I have had the horse clippers online for less than thirty-six hours, and I’m already considering sending myself to the mental institution just for posting them. There’s got to be something wrong with me for doing this, right? These emails aren’t as bad as they could be, I realize, but since they’ve only been up for not even thirty-six hours, it’s only bound to get worse. And, I don’t know about you, but I can usually tell by the e-mail exactly how the exchange is going to go down in full, though sometimes I’m surprised, so I write back anyway. I don’t know if it’s because I’m psychic, or if that’s normal for having dealt on Craigslist before, but “ay, caramba!,” says the whitest girl in America.

My ads are typically quite descriptive. I try to cover every single stupid question I think that I could possibly get, because on Craigslist, there’s a lot of stupid questions. Sometimes I do it to the point that my ad almost border lines insulting. But yet, I still get asked a stupid question. For instance, one time we had someone come out to look at something. Though both the ad and my emails to them stated that they had to pay in cash, they tried to hand me a check. They didn’t get the item. If you can’t even read an ad or an email, I don’t trust your check to not bounce, especially if you knew the price and told me you understood and would bring cash, but then don’t.

In my ad for the clippers, I stated that they had only been used a few times. The very first email I got was from a guy asking me if they had only been used a few times. Sir, this is generally a stupid question to ask. I wouldn’t have put it if it wasn’t the truth, which I realize isn’t always the case. Some people lie. But if those people are going to lie in their ad to get something to sell, they’re not going to suddenly change their mind and tell you the truth in an email. And, for the record, I did not lie. I suddenly got ill and was unable to ride my horses any longer, so the new pair of clippers had only gotten used a handful of times prior to that happening, and I haven’t been able to ride since. I never heard from this fine gentleman again.

In my ad, I also posted pictures of everything included with the clippers, as well as stated what all came with the clippers AND said that ONLY what is in the picture and what I put in the ad came with the clippers. Nothing else. I thought I was pretty clear, but evidently not. I received an email from a lady asking me if a bottle of lubricant and extra attachments came with the clippers. My initial thought is to face palm, but usually I just end up getting angry at stupid, because you can’t fix stupid, and then face palm. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt on this question, but I just couldn’t.

I answered her back and told her that the clippers had been used, therefore, I had used some of the lubricant. I still might have some left, but I wasn’t sure that even if I did if it was still any good, but if I did and it was, then she was welcome to it. I then told her that I had not bought the set with all the extras. But from her email, I can already see this going wrong.

She had asked me if the set comes with lubricant and all the extra attachments that come in the box. They’re only in the box if you buy the sets with all the extras. Not all of the sets come with them, and even though I told her that mine did not, I have a feeling by the wording in her email that she’s going to argue with me on it, or argue and then try to take the price down to basically nothing because she knows not all sets do and is hoping that I don’t and genuinely think I lost the extras. The bottom line is, I am selling a $120 set of clippers, along with a $20 extra set of blades for $60. For that price, she could spend the $15 on the set of extras they sell separately and still be far below retail price.

I’ll keep you posted on how this goes, as well as how selling the other two things turns out. Just consider this blog a place for Craigslist stories for awhile, because I’m going to have them, especially with the furniture. I tried to sell the furniture once before, and out of over fifty interested, legitimate emails, no one ever actually showed up to see the furniture. Now I’m at the point where I need to get rid of it, so we’ll see how this goes.

If you never hear from me again, I changed my mind on that suicide.

One thought on “A Guilty Half a Fruit Loop

  1. Craigslist amuses me so much. I think particular areas, whilst creepy as Hell, do make for interesting entertainment, especially when you are bored! I would avoid the men seeking women add pages if you wish to retain any amount of sanity. Honestly, I don’t know why those pages exist.

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