The Idiot Magnet

Bad news, Gals. (If there’s any guys reading this, I’m sorry. You have to be a gal for your duration of reading this.) I did not move over the weekend as planned. It’s a very long story, but the long short of it is this. In previous posts, you’ve all been introduced to Greta Hayley. If not, you’re about to be introduced to her again.

This is Greta Hayley. Although a lot of you have heard me talk about her, what a lot of people don’t know is that she’s a medical companion dog, meaning she’s medically necessary for me to have. I don’t have to take her into stores or anything, but if I’m home by myself, I need her to be here with me. She knows how to wake me up when I pass out and get me help. She can also sense when something is going to happen to me and alert me ahead of time so I can get the proper help or at least sit down. On several occasions, had it not been for her, who knows what would have happened to me while I was alone for several hours on end in the house. When I had my mini stroke she kept me awake and helped me get help. I’m fully aware that had I fallen asleep, I probably wouldn’t have been here today since my mom had her phone off and wasn’t aware of the situation until five hours after the fact.

So imagine my surprise when the apartment complex told me at the last minute that they wouldn’t allow me to have a medically necessary dog in the apartment. The last thing we thought was going to be an issue was having a medical companion dog, especially with a doctor and a vet to back that she is one. Everyone agrees that these people are huge assholes. I was told by two different people, a vet and a person whose husband rents out apartments, that I have a strong lawsuit here. I could sue them, and I’d win, but who wants to live in an apartment complex run by such insensitive asshats? I sure don’t. There’s clearly something wrong with the people running the complex, and the way the situation was handled was beyond ridiculous. If I get into the whole story, I’d be talking slander for the next week, so I’m just going to leave it at that. I guess I have to find a new place (and roommate) where my medically necessary dog is accepted.

In other news, the stupidest people on Craigslist find me. If you’re ever looking for someone really, really unbelievably stupid, just come ask me. I’ll post something on Craigslist and have all the stupid you want in an hour or less. In today’s Craigslisting adventure, I have a lady who emailed me about a pro-grade pair of horse clippers. Please keep in mind that horses have incredibly thick skin and hair, much thicker than dogs, yet it is still possible to nick your horse with these clippers. So imagine my surprise when this lady wanted to use pro-grade horse clippers on her dog, and a little Maltese, at that. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out this isn’t going to work, as I’m pretty sure anyone can figure out that pro-grade horse clippers are meant for horses. Yes, sometimes you can get the cheap horse clippers and use them on dogs, but we’re taking expensive, pro-grade horse clippers that could eff your dog up. Also, if you need pro-grade horse clippers on your dog, you haven’t been taking care of your dog. Pro-grade dog clippers, which are much cheaper to buy new than horse clippers, will take great care of your dog, unless it’s seriously matted, and if it’s that matted, you need a groomer.

I emailed this lady back and nicely told her that I used to be a vet tech, and I had to advise her that using pro-grade horse clippers on her dog, especially a little Maltese, could be very dangerous for her dog. I would prefer not to sell her the clippers, but I would if she would have to sign a paper saying that I am not liable for her dog being harmed by the clippers if that happened and she understands the risks. I honestly didn’t think that was too much to ask, though I really didn’t want to sell her the clippers and figured this would fend her off. I have no idea how tangled a Maltese needs to be to warrant using pro-grade horse clippers on it, but there was no way the dog wasn’t going to get hurt. I thought having her sign a paper was a fair compromise.

She emailed me back and told me, what a coincidence, because she was also a vet tech. (When people get this passive aggressive about stuff, it’s a good sign they’re lying.) She alerted me she would not be signing anything and that was too much to ask. She just wanted the clippers. This raises all kinds of red flags for anyone with half a brain. If she didn’t think she was going to hurt the dog with those horse clippers, she would have signed the paper. After all, if you’re not planning on coming back on me for anything, why wouldn’t you? Obviously, she knew there was a danger of it happening and was planning on coming back on me. Also, and I can’t stress this enough, if she really was a vet tech, she would have known better, but I adore how she tried to intimidate me. Please, lady, get a life. Instead of searching for a pair of used horse clippers that you can get on the cheap, try spending the money buying a pair that are actually for dogs. If you don’t want to spend the money on new ones, buy used ones. They’d still be cheaper than used horse clippers. Sheesh.

On a totally unrelated topic, has anyone ever tried eHarmony? I think it’s about time that I find myself a nice guy and try to move forward with my life. I’m ready for that, and to see where things could go. I apparently can’t find guys on my own and in the real world that want to date me or ask me out (I haven’t had any offers in years.), and although I’m typically against online dating, I think I’m out of choices. Thoughts?


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