Forgiveness Is Better Than Permission (My Life In Memes)

Things are looking up while laughing at me at the same time. It’s a rare talent my life has. I’ve always laughed hysterically at the way it acts. I’m feeling a little like this about it now:


Usually I feel like this:


Just an FYI, life can’t be so bad because I still love Grumpy Cat and Duck Dynasty. Also, my autocorrect feels it necessary to correct Duck Dynasty to Dick Dynasty, because it obviously believes a show about awesome people who make duck calls is really, secretly a porno. But I digress.

I’ve started going to some of the specialists about whatever in the heck my body is deciding is bull crap now. The neurologist said that my brain is processing a tumor that doesn’t seem to be there. It’s basically overreacting to everything for no reason we can figure out. I have to see my autoimmune doctor to see if this is autoimmune related, and a neuro-ophthalmologist to make sure there is no tumor behind my eye that isn’t showing on the MRI for some reason. Because my brain thinks it has a tumor, it’s causing swelling and pressure, and making me act erratically as if the tumor was actually there. I’m on medication now that seems to have evened out the erratic behavior. I still have moments where I can feel the strange behavior coming on, but I can stop it in its tracks. It’s nice to be back to myself emotionally, but it’s also not so nice that my brain is overreacting and angry over something that doesn’t seem to actually be going on. If we can’t figure this out and get the pressure off of my brain, a bleed could occur, which is no fun. Ironically, my brain has no idea what’s going on and is just doing everything as quickly and angrily as it can. This is my brain right now:


As far as everything else, there’s your typical good news and bad news. My poor friend that has suffered the wrath of me not being myself;I feel so bad. I can not get over the way I’ve treated him, and he really doesn’t talk to me anymore. Now, knowing him, it could have nothing to do with any of this. Sometimes he just disappears. I have to find a way to apologize to him and let him know that there was a medical reason I was acting the way I was, but I don’t know how yet. I don’t want to be invasive or creepy or make him feel like he has to talk to me if he doesn’t want to. What sucks here is that I take responsibility for my actions, however, I had no control over them either since there was a legitimate medical reason for my behavior. I hate this, because I would have handled things so differently had I been myself. I think I made him feel like this:

photo 2

I wanted to make him feel like this:


I was volunteering wholeheartedly to be that chick. See what I did there? I’m so punny.

If you change “a girl once told me” to “a guy once told me,” this is basically how I feel about my ex now, which is so unfortunate:


In other news, my cat lives by this motto every single day:

photo 1

I would also wish everyone a happy spring, but we got almost a foot of snow between Monday and today here. This is what our weather thinks of spring, brought to you via Grumpy Cat:

photo 2-1

photo 1-1


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