I am so addicted to the Olympics right now that it should be illegal. Forcing myself to go to bed while the Olympics are still on is like telling a child they can’t have the lollipop you just handed them, even if I don’t like the event that’s on. I realize there’s something wrong with me, but it’s fine. If this is what lands me in a sanitarium, so be it.
With that being said, there’s an event on that I don’t like, so I’m going to blog until one I do like comes on. I have plenty to blog about. It’s been an interesting month full of an infected tooth that needed pulled, generally being ridiculously tired and weak and putting items on Craigslist. You know that last one is totally where this blog is going.
I’m really poor at hiding my feelings about things or downplaying a situation, so let’s all be honest here. For those of you who have used Craiglist, you know that it’s a cesspool of stupidity. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not everybody. I have met some absolutely wonderful people on Craigslist, who have bought items from me with no issues and have generally been terrific. You have to sort through a lot of stupid to find those people, though.
I’m not talking about the people who email you to set up an appointment and never email you back or just fail to show up. I’m talking about the people who are incapable of reading or are very clearly trying to rip you off by giving you some sob story about their life. Not to be rude, but I don’t care about your life. I am selling absolutely nothing that a person has to have to survive. If I were, I would care about your life and work with you on getting you what you need, because I don’t want anything to happen to anyone, even jerks. But when I’m selling something you simply just want, please don’t try to rip me off. If you can’t afford the item, then don’t try to buy it.
Case in point, I have a lady that I have dealt with before that fits all the above criteria. Let me set up this situation for you. I have bedroom furniture I am trying to sell. I understand everyone needs furniture, but this is good quality, brand name, all wood, somewhat expensive furniture, and if you are in desperate need of furniture on a small budget, you could certainly get furniture cheaper elsewhere. When I sell the furniture, I’m going to the thrift store for new furniture, because I certainly can’t afford furniture like I currently have and could use the money for better things, like bills. I am aware of the value of my furniture and am selling it slightly under, as I have no interest in over charging anyone for the furniture, but also don’t want to end up basically giving it away for practically nothing. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for me to want a fair amount for my furniture knowing the value of it.
The furniture is too big for my current bedroom, as it wasn’t bought for this bedroom. The bed and the nightstand don’t fit in my room, so I am selling them separately or with the rest of the set, which includes a vanity, dresser and chest of drawers. Since I am currently using the vanity, dresser and chest of drawers, I will either sell them together or not at all, because I don’t want to end up with mismatched furniture and am really not concerned about selling them. I’m just giving the option to buy them with the bed and nightstand in the event that someone wants the full set. All of this, including my location and the responsibility of the buyer upon purchase, which is that they are responsible for removal of the furniture from the home and hauling, is all in the ad. I have also denoted that I do not have a full picture of the bed, but will around springtime when I get the area where it is stored organized, and that if someone would want to see it, I will pull it out of storage then. Otherwise, I will have full pictures of it up in spring. I’m not in a hurry to sell the furniture, so taking two hours to pull it out of where it is just to take pictures isn’t worth it to me, because it’s currently the only place I have to store it and would have to put it back in there. I understand that may put some people off, and that’s fine. I can wait to sell it until I get it dug out of storage, but I figured while I was putting stuff I do have to sell on Craigslist, I would shove it on there too and see what happened.
I had tried to sell my furniture on Craigslist before, about a year or so ago, but ultimately became busy and took it offline since the furniture is not something I must sale and not a priority, and I didn’t want to bother with setting up appointments and having people coming in and out of the house when I was suddenly incredibly busy. I had one particular lady who was quite a pain in the persqueeter and was a large catalyst for me taking the furniture offline, because she wasn’t listening to anything I was telling her. As soon as I received one particular email about my bed this time around, I immediately recognized her name and email and thought, “oh no.” I was interested to see if she would try to pull the same crap on me that she did before, and she didn’t disappoint and obviously doesn’t realize I’m the same person she’s tried this on before.
The first email I got from her was riddled with bad spelling and no punctuation, so it took me awhile to figure out what she was saying. It really got no better the more emails she sent, but I digress. The first email was a simple enough email, asking me if I still had the bed and requesting more pictures. Remembering her from before, I immediately knew where this was going, especially since, like before, she clearly hadn’t read the ad. She was going to run me in circles and refuse to come out to pick up the bed, but I’m getting ahead of myself. I knew what I had gone through with her before and predicted what she was going to say next, which was to ask me if I had foot board to the bed and how much I was asking. All the information about the bed, including what all comes with it and the dimensions, as well as the price are all listed in the ad. Sure enough, that’s exactly what she asked me. I feel like such a smart ass jerk for referring people back to the ad, but in this case that’s what I did.
If she followed her same pattern, she would next ask me where I was located and if I would take way, way, way less for the bed than what I was asking, because that was all the money she had saved up. I hit the nail on the head with ninja like precision and went on to tell her I would not take that low price for the bed. Next she would tell me that she could try to borrow the money off of someone. She would then tell me a sob story about how she had the rest of the furniture, but not the bed, and how she absolutely had to have the bed, and how I should help her out in getting it. And then she would reveal to me where she was from and ask me to give her general directions from where she lived to my town. Again, I was right, and I simply referred her to Bing Maps to find directions to my location. She only lives about a half an hour from me, and literally straight up the highway, but I thought it ridiculous that she can’t even look up directions for herself. If she was asking me to clarify directions to my house, fine, but she was asking me just to get her to my town. I also told her that, as the ad said, I took credit cards, if that would help her any. I knew she would get back to me and tell me she didn’t have any credit cards and that the rest of the money was an awful lot for her to come up with, but she would let me know. Again, Yahtzee! I refrained from pointing out that if she thought it was an awful lot of money to come up with, she should think of it from my end, because it was an awful lot of money to give her off the price.
I knew that wasn’t the end of her, and that in exactly a week she would email me back telling me she lived over and hour away and asking me to meet her with the bed. She would ask me if the furniture would fit in her vehicle, despite having all the dimensions to it and me not knowing what vehicle she has. She would never tell me if she had all the money together or not. When I told people this, they thought I was just being silly or exaggerating. So far, this woman was sending me almost the exact emails she had the first time to a tee. I was sure at this point that she is and has been running some kind of con on people to get them to give her things cheaper and basically bring it to her, and I was in no mood to put up with her. I was in less of a mood to put up with her when today, exactly a week after the emails started, she emailed telling me she wanted the bed, but she lived well over an hour from me and wanted me to meet her with it. But, oh, would it fit in her vehicle? Because clearly I magically know what vehicle she owns when she doesn’t tell me. I politely wrote her back and pointed out the ad outlines that the buyer is responsible for removing the furniture from the home and that the dimensions of the furniture were in the ad so she could figure out if it fit in her vehicle or not. I refrained from telling her that she already told me where she lives, I know where it is, and I also know she’s a liar and completely full of shit. Last time she wanted me to meet her literally a mile from the town she lives in and told me it was the halfway point between where I live and where she lives, so I know by now that she’s just a lazy liar, and I don’t feel mean saying that.
She hasn’t gotten back to me yet, but I know she will, and when she does she will also give me a sob story about how bad she wants the bed, and if I don’t meet her she won’t be able to have it. I will tell her that’s alright and thank her for her interest, and she won’t take the hint and will continue to bother me about it like this is my problem that she doesn’t want to abide by the terms of the sale that have been in the ad since before she emailed me. This will leave us where we were last time, when I got busy and took the furniture offline. This time I will just ignore her. Maybe she will surprise me and actually want to come get the bed, but when someone is this big of a pain in the ass, do you really want them at your house? Do you trust them to show up or have the money? Because experience with similar people on Craigslist tells me it’s just not going to go down like that.
What really amuses me about this situation is that she actually wants me to put the bed in my car and meet her with it in a parking lot, where she will want to look over on the pavement, which will risk nicking up and beating up otherwise pristine furniture. Who thinks like that? Would you call a furniture store and tell them you’re interested in their furniture and would like them to meet you with it because their store is too far away? You would be laughed at and hung up on. It would be different had she paid for it, but there is no guarantee that she is going to have the money or end up buying the bed after she sees it. It’s also extremely weird to try to inspect furniture in a parking lot. Luckily I didn’t even have to lie to her about why I wouldn’t meet her, because I have a Nissan Versa and couldn’t even begin to fit the bed into my car.
I had another woman email me about my furniture, but I think she got her ads mixed up and emailed me on accident. She was interested in my bed set, but wanted to know what the dresser with the mirror would cost her itself. I have a vanity but no dresser and mirror, which are two completely different things. I emailed her back anyway and assumed that she was referring to the vanity. I repeated what was in the ad, that I wouldn’t sell the vanity separately, but would sell it with the dresser and chest of drawers as a set. She got back to me and let me know she didn’t need the bed and wanted to know what it would cost her to get just the dresser and mirror, despite me telling her the price in the previous email and telling her I had a vanity, but no dresser and mirror. I also told her I would not sell the vanity separately. I emailed her back, and I think she realized she accidentally emailed the wrong person. I hope, at least. If she did have the right person, I have her awards for World’s Worst Reader and World’s Most Confusing Email waiting for her. I even explicitly put in the ad to please not ask about buying the vanity separately because I would not sell it separately. Everyone wants that gosh darn vanity, you guys. And everyone thinks they’re doing me a favor by telling me they’ll give me $100 for it to entice me to sell it to them separately from the set, when the piece was appraised at $350. No joke.
Instead of getting annoyed with people on Craigslist this time around, I decided to be amused. I am amused enough for a whole city worth of people. People are funny. For those of you who have used Craigslist, I’m sure you have similar stories to mine. Feel free to share them in the comments so we can laugh (or cry, or rage) with you.