Another Few Days. No One Said Anything Stupid to Me. This Is New.

I admittedly started this blog a few days ago and was too tired to post it, so I think we’re at the point where you’re going to get the three day update instead of one, since I have all the days written out as “today.” Every day I tried to blog so I wouldn’t forget anything, and then got too lazy to proofread. I say a three day update, because nothing exciting enough to blog about happened today, therefore, it will just be Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I will outline the days for you to make it easy. Like your mom.

Wednesday:

I had my appointment with the neuro-opthalmologist today. I didn’t know what to expect, but I found out that what they do to you is basically what I assume they do to prisoners in Gitmo. I don’t like my eyes messed with, and forget that puffy air thing they use to measure the pressure in your eye or check for glaucoma. I was horrified to find out there’s two machines that torture you by this method, both for different things. The staff at my eye doctor’s office often tells me I’m like Rachel from Friends when it comes to that. See: every time I go in there. I won’t go into details, but it took me three hours after my appointment to be able to actually see halfway decent again. I was stumbling everywhere, all confused like. I have a friend who also has a neuro-opthalmology appointment next month, and even though we haven’t talked for awhile, I still made sure to text him and let him know not to drive himself. I luckily didn’t, but it didn’t make the next three hours of my life any easier. I wouldn’t have been able to function alone, that’s how bad it was. I still can’t see right, but well enough, because obviously I’m typing this. Or maybe I’m dictating this to my dog and she’s typing it for me. You will never really know.

The good news is that my eyes are super healthy and there is no tumor behind my eyes. The bad news is that now we really have no idea why my brain thinks I have a tumor, so hearing I don’t actually have one brings up a mixed bag of emotions. The eye doctor feels this is autoimmune related, which is something that was brought up by my neurologist, but we needed to clear there being anything wrong with my eyes first. The first neurologist I saw was my headache specialist, and also a neurologist. I am going to be seeing my regular neurologist on Monday just for a second opinion, and then my autoimmune doctor and having a test done the following week. It’s moving slowly, but it’s moving.

Since I was gone today, that absolutely meant three of my packages would show up on my porch. It also meant that today was the day it would rain cats and dogs and penetrate through the screen and onto the porch. Luckily, we got home before anything got too wet and ruined. Unfortunately, today’s packages weren’t all they were cracked up to me.

My mom had this wonderful pair of ballet slippers that I had bought for her at Target awhile back. She uses them to clean in for her business, and she loves them. Naturally that means we couldn’t find them again in store. After scouring the internet, we found a pair that was, online, described to be exactly like her shoes. We compared them by looks and specifications, and they looked and sounded to be exactly the same. They even came in a little bag like my mom’s had. They did look like they were suede and possibly softer than her rubber textile ones, but I read everything carefully and nowhere did it say that they were suede. In fact, the description says Camelia Ballet Slipper online and, tell the truth, have you ever seen a suede ballet slipper?

We got them in the mail and, of course, they were suede and cheaply made and really crappy compared to the ones she has. To boot, on the packing slip they were described as Camelia Suede Slipper, which is different from anything it said online. Basically, the website was misleading, but they are definitely the same whatever they are. You sure as heck couldn’t wear them outside of the house. Now I have to take them back, and I still can’t find the kind my mom has. At least I can return them to the store and not have to worry about shipping them back. We’ll see how that actually translates in real life.

Next up was Greta’s dog bed. I had talked about this in an earlier post, but I had bought her a size down from the dog bed I had so loved. Even though it’s just one size down, it looks about four sizes down. I wasn’t sure if she was going to fit on it, but it’s bigger than I give it credit for and she already has fallen head over tail in love with it. I was concerned it was going to have to be sent back, but crisis averted.

The last package was a present for Aunt Bev, dog treats, and a pair of cowboy boots I ordered off of Amazon. Everything was fine, except for the cowboy boots.  They fit fine, they just don’t look at all like they do in the picture. In fact, they’re not cowboy boots at all, even though they’re listed as them, and they’re kind of heavy and clunky. Now, before you say anything, I realize I ordered a cheap pair and they weren’t going to be authentic. I got that, but that’s not the case here. That I could live with. The fact that they’re far from cowboy boots is the issue. They’re cute, but I want cowboy boots, not regular boots, so now I have to return those as well. I’m bummed out that they didn’t look like the picture, but that happens. I guess I’m going to have to go on ahead and realize that ordering shoes offline is just not my forte.

On another note, if you are walking past a halfway house that you didn’t know was there, and some ghetto white kid starts making comments at you and saying hi to you, you turn around and say hi, and then keep walking briskly ahead. If you don’t, that white dude may chase you down asking you why you buggin and being rude. It’s not worth it. You say hi, he’s happy and astounded, and you keep walking. It’s a win / win for everyone. I tell you this from experience.

Thursday:

You guys, I got so much done today, and I think I regret it a little. I haven’t slept so well in years as I did last night, probably because of all the eye tests from yesterday making me wonky. I woke up much earlier than I thought I was going to and felt pretty good, so I made the stupid decision to step out and get a few things done. Okay, that’s actually not true. Some jackwagon decided to burn pine trees on a Thursday. Burning on any day but two hours on Saturday is illegal here, and burning any kind of rubbish or trees is strictly prohibited, so this person was just a jerk. It would have been forgivable had the smoke and smell not been so bad that, even with the windows closed, I was getting a migraine and was chased out of my own home. I didn’t get a choice but to go find something to do, so thank goodness I felt fairly well.

The one thing I knew is that I wanted to find another pair of cowboy boots that I actually liked…and were actually cowboy boots. My mom, who tries to save money on everything, encouraged me to go spend money on a good, authentic pair of boots this time that are made of real leather, and they will last and also have padding in them, whereas the cheap ones don’t. Now, I know this from when I was a kid. I grew up in authentic cowboy boots on the back of a horse. Now I only wear them for style purposes, so I didn’t see a need to spend all that money, but I went through a cheap pair in a year, so I knew she had a point. There was a pair that I was eying online, but didn’t want to spend the money for them. I found a good deal on them online with a coupon that I had for that particular retailer. I was afraid to order them knowing that Laredo boots used to run small. I had no idea what size I would wear and didn’t want to deal with returns. I had also learned that ordering shoes online was not my forte the previous day, and it still may not be. With not a lot to do, I set out to the local tack shop to see if I could find a pair that I liked better, or at least try out a pair of Laredo boots for sizing purposes.

When I got there, I was surprised at their selection, disappointed that not only did they not have my boots, but they didn’t even have Laredos, happy with the friendliness and helpfulness of the staff, but appalled by the markup on their boots. I had been searching for my dreams boots that I probably couldn’t afford for awhile, and in finding my perfect pair that I initially wasn’t going to buy, memorized a lot of prices for other ones I liked. Every single pair was at least $50 more at their store than I could find them online, so I immediately knew I wouldn’t be buying there. With no Laredos to be had, I left, but not after petting their adorable dog on the way out.

As a woman on no mission, without a plan, I decided to find this dog treat bakery that I had been wanting to find for the longest time. It’s was in the same area where I found myself, in a local town that is small and difficult to park in and navigate. I pulled Google Maps up on my phone, let it find my location, and found my way via that. I was happy to learn that the place I needed to go was actually in a small shopping center on the way out of town, and it had its own parking. I was so delighted by this place and got so excited over my finds that I became incredibly bummed out that I couldn’t text my dog and tell her about all the cool things I bought her. The place was well priced and I will be going back there for the owner’s dog’s birthday party next month with Greta so that she can get a free piece of doggy birthday cake and a treat bag. I’ve never seen her like any treats better, and this little girl loves her treats.

Since I was near the mall, I decided to pop into one of the stores that I knew sometimes sold Laredo boots just to try them on. They were a discount clearance store, so I knew that they wouldn’t have the pair that I wanted, since they were new. I had success when I popped in, tried them on, found my size in that brand, got excited, and decided to order the pair of boots of my dreams with my coupon. When I was online last night, I saw there were only three pairs left, so I used my phone to snatch a pair up. (Since I’m proofing this on Saturday, I just want to give you all a warning. I ordered from Country Outfitter after hearing so many good things about them. They said the boots would ship in 24 hours. It still has the ship date between the 11th and the 12th. It’s been more than forty eight hours and they haven’t shipped, so their shipping time is a lie. I’m actually considering canceling my order, because I’ve become leery of them. I don’t care if it takes stuff awhile to ship, but when it is past the days you’re still telling me it’s going to ship between and they haven’t shipped, that seems shady. I’ll keep you all updated, but please be warned.)

I made an impromptu stop to grocery shop, and then, having remembered the ballet slippers I needed to return to Target, swung by there. When I took them up to the cashier and explained that the website said one thing and the packing slip another, the lady just shook her head. She took them out of the box, said they seemed really gross for a pair of shoes since they were suede and would easily fall apart if you wore them outside of the house, and then returned them with no issue. Though I doubt I’d order off of Target again because of their inaccurate descriptions and inability to tell me anything has shipped (Which I hope is what’s going on with my boots.), I may do so on something I can’t find in store knowing that in-store returns are easy and stress free. I go to Target a lot anyway, and if I’m not going there, I’m in the area of one, so it doesn’t take much for me to stop in and return something. It’s much easier than dealing with sending it back.

Once I got home, my mom’s pillows came that I had ordered on Groupon. I made her go get the package from the UPS man, and then stood there and acted dumbfounded when she handed me the package, stating that it had her name on it. She was a little weirded out and insisted she hadn’t ordered anything, but she opened it and was thrilled with her pillows. Those definitely won’t be going back, which is a score. I didn’t think I’d have to send anything back, and I still have things coming, so here’s hoping there’s no other issues.

Friday:

Before I even got up this morning, I knew I was in for it and going to be pushed to my boundaries and past what I reasonably thought I could do. When I originally planned this day, I only had a hair appointment. Yesterday,  I made some calls to try and get a few things done, and suddenly I had three appointments and a trip to UPS. It was eight am and I was already thinking this was going to be a fail.

I’m not a morning person, so a 9:15 appointment at the orthodontist seemed like my own personal version of Hell. I went anyway, mostly because I needed more wax and it was free there. Two of my teeth are in a position where the brackets are just killing my lip, and then I had three wires that decided to pop way out. The good news about that is it means that my teeth are already really moving. In fact, the lady at the office was fairly certain that I may not have to have my braces on near as long as we thought, because my teeth seem to be moving unbelievably well and fast. I’ve only had my braces since Monday, and one of my teeth that was really out of place is almost straight already. Fingers crossed.

I got out of the orthodontist around 9:30. My hair appointment was at 10:45. The place I had to go was only twenty minutes away, but I had to stop at UPS on the way to return those boots, I hadn’t eaten, I had forgotten something at home, and I was going to park at one of my mom’s client’s houses and walk the half mile to my appointment, because street parking was tough in the town I was going to and I had to pay. Plus, my doctors tell me to walk every day to help with my migraines, so it seemed like a solid plan.

I pretty much had no idea how to time any of this, so I did what any reasonable human being would do and got a donut from Dunkin’ Donuts across the street from my orthodontist. Actually, I bought two, because I was going to see my mom when I parked at her client’s house, since she was working there that day, and knew she’d be hungry. My mom is completely food oriented. Every time you see her, she’s asking if you have food or if you’re going to eat that, whatever that is. I figured I’d save myself the trouble.

My house is centralized between the orthodontist and the salon. UPS is a mile from my house and on the way home from where I was. I went to UPS first, because I had the super gigantic box that the boots were sent in and nothing else to put the boots back in, because they were too big to fit in any of the other boxes I had. There were other things that came with the boots  that caused the box to have to be that huge, but I was afraid UPS would tell me that the box was too big for just the boots and it would turn into a debacle. I ended up getting an amazing lady who was all, “Guuuurl, we ain’t making a big deal out of this. I’ll tape this up and you’ll be on your way.” I love her.

I stopped at home, ate my donut, picked up what I forgot and headed to my mom’s client’s house. What I forgot at home was her address and directions to her house, so yeah, I was on a roll that day. I got parked and made it to my hair appointment in perfect timing, so that worked out. There’s a hairstyle I’ve wanted to try since I first started dying my hair from black, my natural hair color, to blonde back in January. I couldn’t get my hair light enough the first time and promised myself I wouldn’t try the haircut until I could. This time, I was able to get my hair light enough and went for a drastic change with the cut. People wouldn’t even recognize me, which means a lot of shenanigans are going to ensue and I’m going to take advantage of that as best as I can. Get ready for some stories. To see the change for yourself, let me share some pictures.

This was my hair prior to starting to dye it blonde. The reason I wanted to go blonde is that I needed a change. You all know I went through the breakup from Hell last year, and I just needed something drastically different. I also was hoping it would help me look more my age, since I’m often mistaken for a high school student on a regular basis.

1

This was my hair after I had it dyed blonde in January. It was a dark golden blonde and showed lighter in the sun. I loved the color so much, but I decided that I wanted to go all the way with a drastically different color and cut. The lighter color helped me look older, but I still looked pretty young. Note: I’m 27.

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This is the final after. My inspiration for the haircut was Ashley Benson. I fell in love with the cut, didn’t think I could pull it off, and finally decided that I’m only young once and it’s just hair. I had nothing to lose.

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I am really happy with it, and I think I look more my age. I look drastically different than I did last year and I’m excited to start sneaking up on people and confusing them.

My hair appointment took three hours, and immediately after I started doing blonde things. I left my magazine at the salon and had to go back. I chose not to walk back, because walking there is downhill and a piece of cake. Walking back made me want to nap on the sidewalk, because that hill was steeper than I gave it credit for. Also, it was raining. I then left my sunglasses at my mom’s client’s house. I had to text my mom and have her bring them home. Then I got sick, which was kind of a blonde issue since I had over scheduled my entire month, my week had been hell, and that day was already more than I could handle in the health position I’m in. I still wasn’t done with my day.

My mom’s cat, who is fourteen pounds and old, hurt her leg running around the house like a kitten that weighs five pounds. Ironically, her name is Pie. I had to take her to the vet. She’s fine. She made it through it like a trooper. I fought to stay awake through the whole thing. I’m now out $155 for my mom’s cat, and I’ll never see that money, but as long as the cat is okay, that’s all that counts. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. If I asked my mom to take my cat to the vet, she’d demand the money up front. It’s all about the cat. It’s all about the cat…

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